Choosing Mental Health
When I was about 6 years old, I was hit by a car, and I ended up in a full body cast. I sort of resembled one of those bandaged mummies that were shown in 80’s and 90’s American sitcoms for comedic effect. Obviously, it was not funny, and it was extremely uncomfortable (imagine being immobile while flat on your back with legs straight out and lying on a bedpan…and needing to use the bedpan). After a couple months in the hospital, I was discharged with a one leg cast and crutches. Once my cast was removed, I was told that I had no permanent damage, and I was on the road to a full recovery.
I am lucky to have fully healed, but this car accident can be considered an objectively unfortunate incident because I needed immediate medical treatment. While this event and its repercussions consumed a few months of my life, it hasn’t affected my day-to-day living past my mid-childhood. However, now at 41 years old, I am still struggling with the not-overtly-physiological experiences that I experienced as a child (though there definitely was corporal inflictions involved). It is not controversial to state that our upbringing molds our personalities, and because of the absence of healthy emotional compasses during my childhood, I don’t always have the most nuanced and measured reactions to situations, and I have my fare share of vices (perhaps this is not the best confession coming from a therapist, but I guarantee that we are also far from perfect). I have worked, and I continue to work, on my shortcomings, but my earnest efforts only began in my adult life. Because of my unresolved personal issues, I know I have lost hours, weeks, and decades from my active regrets and through the consequences of my less-than-ideal choices.
Why am I discussing my car accident and my personality traits? Well, a broken body heals because we tell ourselves it is serious, and it must be given consideration. A broken mind often remains broken because we, and large parts of societies, disregard its importance. Unfortunately, a fractured mental reality results in behaviors that may cause harm (physical, relationship, financial, etc.), and it perpetuates because we are either blind to the damages it causes, or it is so ingrained in our being that it is too difficult to change course (e.g., frequently using the most insensitive words to your partner, being easily angered by any minor transgression, or resorting to harmful behaviors during stressful situations).
When I was hit by a car, I was rushed to the hospital and treated for my wounds. While on bedrest, my vitals were checked, and I was kept comfortable. Basically, medical professionals helped me recover. But as a teenager and adult, mental health was not a common subject matter. When it was discussed, it was only regarding a “serious” condition, such as schizophrenia, or it was relegated as a shameful or embarrassing admission of weakness. Unfortunately, pursuing mental health wellness is not nearly as celebrated, routine, and ubiquitous as screening for cancer, maintaining dental hygiene, or accessing nutritional content, despite also being a preventative health measure (e.g., lowered stress is correlated with lowered inflammation in the immune system).
I understand that the route to considering one’s mental health can have many obstacles…perhaps they are time constraints, cultural/societal stigma, or lack of resources (definitely financial, because I know this isn’t always affordable). But a continuous cycle of interpersonal conflicts and internal repressions is cumulative over a lifetime. What is the opportunity cost of choosing the present maladaptive cycle over the new, but admittedly hypothetical, alternative? At the very least, selecting the untested route puts your foot in the door to a new direction, and that may be a sufficient catalyst to spark your change.